my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
time to smoke my breakfast
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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