you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize