Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
