We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
