i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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