Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
