Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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