I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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