How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
