It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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