I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
