What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
