Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
