She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
