omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
