My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
not ubering you a puppy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
