Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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