As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
