And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wish I only lived at night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
