Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
