You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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