I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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