woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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