I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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