idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
