There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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