its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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