I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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