It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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