I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've blown a few things in my day
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
