was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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