he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
