I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
