Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
