Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
