next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
