I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
