upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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