I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
