I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
