Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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