Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize