lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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