How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
