Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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