apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
