she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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