Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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