He asked to "fluff my boner.."
smell my finger.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
