Christians are straight up FREAKS
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
