Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
