I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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