four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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