we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
