just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
