every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
