I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize