TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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